


Hot Chokolat

by madame_alexandra



Series: Bloodstripes Peripheral Works [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Adopted Children, Committed Relationship, F/M, Family, Family Fluff, Humor, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:27:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24816844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madame_alexandra/pseuds/madame_alexandra
Summary: Leia and Vada spend a little time late night bonding while Han is away. A Bloodstripes story. H+L.
Relationships: Leia Organa/Han Solo
Series: Bloodstripes Peripheral Works [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1604902
Comments: 29
Kudos: 47





	Hot Chokolat

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: happy reading! spot the subtle movie reference?
> 
> ~ this story is for Anna.

_"Hot Chokolat"_

_ A Bloodstripes Story _

* * *

It was late; long after the sun had gone down, long after she'd gone to bed – long after she'd woken up and should have fallen back asleep – and Leia was engaging in some lukewarm, slightly unfair brooding. She tossed and turned, rustling around fitfully, her eyes alternately fixed on the dark, mundane ceiling, the shadowy, boring wall – or, as of this moment, shoved morosely into a pillow with the rest of her face.

She kept inching a foot over to Han's side of the bed, which reminded her he wasn't there, which would cause her to sigh, and shift her head, grumbling at his absence. She had no right to be mad that he was gone – and she wasn't; she wasn't at all! Han wasn't even _gone_ ; he was just _away_ for the weekend. A rare occurrence, certainly, but not an unacceptable one; Han was more than entitled to his own life, to business and personal engagements, and Sith knew he deserved some time off, so to speak.

He was a loyal, reliable partner, an outstanding father, a good man – it wasn't _his_ fault that she had unexpectedly experienced a bout of nightmares this evening, while he was gallivanting around one of the moons with Luke and Chewbacca and the rest of their pilot-rebel fraternity celebrating the end of Luke's bachelorhood.

Leia had told him to go. She had emphatically told him to go. Han had been sort of reluctant, going back and forth on it, even though she could tell he liked the idea of not only putting Luke through the party ringer, but also kicking back with _the guys_. He'd still hesitated. The suggestion that he was too old had actually come out of his mouth. He'd made the offhand remark that he had a kid now, and he didn't need to be leaving. Leia pointed out that she left all the time and she had a kid, too. Han awkwardly tried to imply it wasn't the same.

_Yeah, but…that's your job, that's important, you've always had it…and Vada's…y'know, I can't take advantage of you -_

_Han, I adopted her. She's mine. She's my kid, too. I didn't sign up to be a glorified babysitter; I'm her mother._

Han had smiled sheepishly, his eyes shining. She knew he valued her commitment to Vada – still, sometimes he vaguely said, or did, things that implied he still nursed some element of guilt for all this, for being the reason a seven-year-old child had been sprung on Leia, for altering her life so dramatically just when it had started to settle.

Leia didn't mind reassuring him, as long as his doubts came from inside himself, rather than a lack of desire to let her care for Vada – and she knew it wasn't _that_.

She was glad he'd gone. She knew Luke was glad Han was there, because Han – rabble rouser that he was – usually intervened with one of the other guys got too out of control and Han – being the happily married man he was – would put a standing **_no_** order on any harebrained idea of Hobbie's or Wedge's that involved strippers, or any other sort of naked, compromising women.

Not that Luke would need Han to save him there.

She was glad he'd gone, and she resented that she felt needy, and that she missed him. Missing him wasn't so bad; she missed Han often when she was away from him, and that was a sign of profound love and happiness with him. Usually, though, _she_ was the one gone, and she was busy working outrageous hours, leaving her no time to dwell on the missing, and leaving her so exhausted that though she had little time for sleep, she slept fairly well.

She was also unused to being alone in their home, in their bed. Even the short time they'd been separated when Vada first arrived, _she'd_ gone to Luke's. She was uncomfortable without Han _here_ with her. And, to be frank, it wasn't very often that she was alone for days on end with Vada, though that was a nonissue. She and Vada had an excellent relationship.

She wasn't brooding over Han's bachelor weekend or the fact that she was alone with _her_ child, she was pissed because she couldn't go back to sleep, the two nightmares had been alarmingly bad, she was feeling shaky and disoriented and – and it wasn't fair that it was happening when Han was out having a good time.

She resisted raising him on the comm. If all was well, he was completely trashed singing Wookiee karaoke at some alehouse. If she called, he'd be hers in a heartbeat; he'd probably sober it up at a biologically impossible rate, but she didn't _want_ to do that to him. She knew Han didn't think of being there for her as 'ruining his night,' but he needed to have some _fun_. He'd been through a lot, too, not only in the year they'd officially had Vada but also in his life, and Leia wanted peace for him just as badly as he wanted it for her.

So, she brooded. She tossed. She turned. It might not be quite so blasted awful if it wasn't also hot as hell. The cool air had bit the blaster right after Han had departed, and Leia refused to call someone to come repair it. Han was capable of doing it, and Leia balked at having people she didn't know in her home unless _absolutely_ necessary.

At last, she sat up, rubbing her forehead. She kicked her sheets back feebly, and then stretched herself out diagonal on the bed, putting her cheek on Han's pillow. She breathed his faint scent in, closed her eyes. When she closed them, the scent turned metallic; she heard hissing and tasted carbon and felt aches in her spine.

The first nightmare had been about the Death Star. She woke, shuddering, found Han missing, took too long to remember why he was gone. The second nightmare, when she was barely asleep, had been about Han in carbonite, her mind reacting to his absence, screaming – _where is he, where is he, why is he gone?_

Leia sat up again.

This was useless. She was hot, the heat was making her nauseous, and the fear of what was waiting when – if – she went back to sleep was tying up her muscles with a painfully tense anxiety.

She threw the sheets off completely this time and got up. She picked up a stretchy headband from the bedside table and looped it around her neck, drawing it up to catch all her frazzled hair and neatly hold it back from her face. She pulled it over one shoulder, sighed, and grabbed her robe off of the bedpost.

She slipped it on as she left the bedroom, but didn't bother to tie it shut. She was sleeping in underwear and a half-length leisure bra, anyway, and it was too hot to bundle up, even in lightweight silk.

Han would be back tomorrow night. She'd be fine. She knew that. But there was no use in trying to force herself to sleep when she couldn't, so she wandered into the main living room and idly picked up the clicker for the Holo. She was sure she could find something mindless to watch and occupy her whirring mind.

She turned the thing on and sat down on the sofa, leaning back into it with resignation. She began scrolling lazily through options, keeping the volume very low. She was able to hear it even if was on near silent, if she attuned her senses correctly. When she was young, she'd used to stun her parents with her eavesdropping capability, hearing things no human ear should have been able to pick up. Later in life, when Luke had revealed her Force sensitivity…well, that had explained a lot.

She slouched down on the sofa and put her feet up on the hideous kaf table, heels braced on the edge, toes pointing up at the ceiling. As she always did when Han wasn't around, she scowled at that stupid thing. She was the one who had ordered him to buy some things to make the home more his, and then he'd come home with – with this _monstrosity_ , and she knew it was just to piss her off, so she refused to say anything about it.

He was very fond of threatening to take the kaf table in the divorce – tongue-in-cheek, of course. Leia was even fonder of pointing out she'd be taking the _Falcon_.

She grinned to herself, biting her thumbnail absently. She and Han had always been good at banter, even if it confused, alarmed, and exasperated the people around them.

She settled on a station showing reruns of a fashion competition program she was rather fond of, and tossed the clicker aside. If she fell asleep while fixated on this, so be it. She tilted her head, trying to remember if she'd seen this cycle of the show. She hadn't, which meant it had probably aired during the war, which seemed entirely unfathomable.

Unfathomable that a lighthearted little fashion competition show had gone on and one while she was losing her youth in underground bunkers and dark cells and space ships stranded in asteroid fields.

As always when she thought of the war these days, she also wondered what Vada had been going through, faraway in the home in Coronet City. To Leia, simple things such as fashion shows taking place during the battle of her life was absurd, but to Vada, to a child…the war had just been an incomprehensible, larger than life backdrop to her very real, very personal tragedy.

Leia grinned; remembering that Vada had, for most of her life, thought Darth Vader was a droid.

That was just so…refreshing.

If only.

She sighed, and tilted her head to the side, fixating on the material being used in the show, memorizing the names of the designers who would compete for the next few episodes. After a moment, she got up, crept down the hall to her study, and hurried back just as quietly, though this time with a flimsypad in her hands.

She resettled herself on the sofa and, as she made her way through episodes, idly made notes.

* * *

Unbeknownst to Leia, in the shadowy hallway behind her, Vada was leaning against a wall, chewing her lip, engaged in a serious internal debate. She yawned to herself, making herself small against the wall.

Sleepy and bleary-eyed, she'd been on her way to the kitchen, and had stepped into the opening to the living room before she realized the Holo was on and Leia was in there. Caught off guard, she'd frozen, about to speak up, but then she'd crept back silently, hurriedly, her face puckering in worry.

Hence her position now, tucked against the wall in the dark, brow furrowed. She wasn't _afraid_ of Leia. That wasn't it at all – but Leia hadn't heard her. And one thing Dad had told her repeatedly was that it wasn't a good idea to sneak up on Leia. He'd asked her to please try not to do that, if she could help it.

_Why?_ – Vada had asked, though she knew she had a habit of drifting around, silent as the grave. She'd learned to be unseen and unheard in the home.

_It makes her heart race. It scares her. Then, sometimes her mind sorta flinches, and she forgets where she is. Just try not to do it, okay?_

_Okay._

She hadn't expected Leia to be awake! It was the middle of the night – no, like, after that. It was super late, and Vada always got up to get some water at some point in the night. It was just a habit. She always went right back to sleep, too, and usually she got the water from her little 'fresher where Dad let her keep her favorite cup.

But she'd washed the cup this morning, and forgot to put it back.

Her mouth was really dry. Probably because it was so _freakin'_ hot. She knew Leia thought it was hot, too. Earlier this evening, she and Vada had both poked around with the thermostat until Leia gloomily concluded that it was busted, and Dad would have to fix it when he got home.

Then she found a fan – just one – and put it in Vada's room. Vada wondered if Leia was awake because she was too hot, and she'd been nice and given that _only_ fan to Vada.

Vada kept chewing her lip, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. She remained quiet, very quiet. She supposed she could just go back to bed, or maybe cup her hands in the sink and scoop water into her mouth. Except now that she was up, she wasn't just thirsty, she was worried about Leia.

She rarely saw Leia watch the Holo. She said most things on it gave her a headache. And it was kind of weird for Leia to just be…up, staring at the Holo in the middle of the night, like a zombie. Maybe she was sick?

The problem was, Dad had asked her not to sneak up on Leia, and Vada earnestly remembered that. But she had failed to ask how to…announce she was there? She kind of figured that if she knocked on a wall or yelled, _"HEY, I'M HERE!"_ – well, that would startled Leia too, wouldn't it?

Not to mention Vada knew what it meant to be startled, of course, but she wasn't exactly sure what would happen if she did scare Leia really badly, and Leia's mind 'flinched,' as Dad described it. Was he being serious or metaphorical when he said that? Was he doing that thing where he didn't describe things right because he thought she was too little?

Vada frowned nervously, and swallowed hard. Was it a _medical_ flinch, or a psychological flinch? Maybe Dad had botched the explanation because he'd been such a weirdo about leaving them alone for a few days. As if Leia and Vada weren't alone together _all_ the time.

Vada had pointed that out, and Dad had started stammering, trying to explain what he meant without sounding like an idiot, which Leia said always ended up making him sound like even more of an idiot. Basically, Vada figured, the gist was – Dad felt awkward going off on a _boys'_ weekend while Leia both worked _and_ parented.

Even though Leia was her adopted mom now. And Leia did all kinds of parent stuff all the time. And it had been pretty much a year since all that, since the social workers were gone completely and they were a real family, forever.

Regardless, Vada was stuck in a loop, trying to decide what to do. She knew she'd feel horrible if she scared Leia.

She tilted her head up and frowned at the ceiling, thinking. After a moment, she sighed quietly to herself, and inched forward slowly. She stood at the edge of the hall, and decided maybe if she stared at the back of Leia's head and _thought_ at her, really hard, and really loud, maybe she'd turn around. Vada knew she herself could tell if someone was staring at her – most people could, right? It made your spine feel all tingly.

She narrowed her eyes, thinking very hard.

_Psst. Leia. Leeiiiia. LeeLee, it's Vada, I don't want to scare you –_

Leia turned around immediately, and Vada almost squeaked, startled herself. Wait, had she _really_ heard? Could Vada speak with her mind? Was Leia _magic_? Vada held her breath, eyes wide, and then relaxed, suddenly remembering – Leia _was_ magic. She could sense things.

Leia sat up a little and peered at Vada. Vada grinned in relief, happy to have her attention.

"Vada?" Leia asked quietly.

Vada came forward.

"Did you read my thoughts?" Vada asked eagerly, unable to contain herself. "I was thinking at you!"

Leia pursed her lips, amused.

"No, not technically," she murmured. "I sensed you there."

"With the Force?" Vada whispered.

Leia nodded, and her brow knit gently.

"Is everything okay?" she asked, starting to sit up. Her robe slipped off her shoulder, and Vada came even closer, creeping to the back of the sofa. She leaned on it, chewing her lip again.

She nodded.

"Yes," she said. "I always wake up to drink water," she explained. "Always, every night, but tonight my cup is in the kitchen. Because I washed it," she said hurriedly, keeping her voice low. "I was going to get it but…" she trailed off.

Leia waited patiently.

"I didn't know how to not sneak up on you," Vada blurted. She winced. "Dad told me to be careful not to sneak up on you. And it's night time and it's dark, so," she trailed off again.

"Oh," Leia murmured. "Ohhh," she sighed quietly.

She smiled a little.

"Well, you did a good job," she said. "I wasn't startled at all."

Vada beamed, relieved. Leia tilted her head a little.

"You wake up _every_ night to get water?" she asked, curious.

Vada nodded.

"Hmm. Han and I never hear you."

"I am like a mouse," Vada said seriously. "I woke up a lot in the home to make sure no one was stealing my things," she confided. "I think it is…a habit."

Leia's lips turned up slightly, and she reached out to pat Vada's hand. Vada turned her hand over to press it against Leia's, and she looked at their hands for a minute. Leia's hand wasn't really that much bigger than hers. She looked back up, and started to speak, but Leia was already saying something:

"Come here, your wrap is coming off," she murmured.

Vada came around to the sofa, standing next to Leia. Leia sat forward, drawing one foot off the kaf table, and reached up to the silk wrap protecting Vada's hair. She gently readjusted it so that it covered the new braids completely, and then ran her hand over it. Vada had just had her hair newly styled in complex, long protective braids, and Leia was adamant that she help take care of them appropriately.

"The heat's not great for your hair, is it?" she muttered scowling at the thick, humid air around them.

Vada patted her wrap herself.

"This keeps it fine," she said, shrugging. "It was always hot on Corellia and these did fine for Mom's hair," she noted.

"Good," Leia murmured.

Vada tilted her head.

"Can you not sleep 'cause it's so stuffy?" she asked.

"Hmmm," Leia sighed. She seemed to think about it for a long time, and then she shrugged a little. "Well, it doesn't help," she murmured. "But it's more that I keep having bad dreams," she admitted honestly. She crinkled her nose. "I miss your father," she confided.

Vada smiled warmly. Leia impulsively kissed Vada's cheek, and then sat back, nodding.

"You go get your water," she instructed. "Go back to bed. Don't worry about me."

She winked. Vada hesitated, but then nodded, and crept into the kitchen. She glanced at the Holo, then back at Leia over her shoulder. Leia's expression didn't betray anything very interesting, but still, Vada felt a little worried. She knew what it was like to have bad, bad dreams.

They were _terrible_. And she remembered one of her very first nights here, in this place with Leia. She'd had a bad dream, and Leia had let her sleep next to her, even though she barely knew her.

So…Vada couldn't just leave Leia alone when she was having bad dreams. She couldn't just…go back to bed, could she? She hesitated in the kitchen, and then she turned around and scampered back into the living room, her sleepiness gone.

"Do you want some hot chokolat?" she asked boldly.

Leia turned, her head tilted. She arched a brow.

"It's late, Vada," she started.

"I don't have school tomorrow," Vada reminded her quickly. "And we're both already up. _And_ the kind we have doesn't have kaf in it. Because Dad got it to make for me when I have a bad day at school," she went on, listing the benefits. "And if you are having bad dreams, I don't want you to be alone."

Leia still looked hesitant. She bit her lip. Vada gave her a look – a look that made her very much the _spitting_ image of Han.

"I can take care of _you_ , too," she said sternly.

That made Leia smile. She sat forward.

"Well," she drawled. "Alright – but I'll make it."

Vada clasped her hands, grinning madly. Then she held them out, palms forward, and shook her head.

"No!" she insisted. " _No_ , I can do it!"

Before Leia could get totally off the sofa, Vada had the step-stool out in the kitchen, and was gathering ingredients.

And though Leia did get up and come into the kitchen, she only watched, and Vada was very proud that she was able to make two cups of smooth, silky hot chokolat all by herself.

* * *

Some time later, Vada and Leia curled up on the couch, nursing mugs of hot chokolat and paying the _utmost_ attention to Leia's chosen program.

"What's this?" Vada asked, tapping the notepad Leia had abandoned.

She burrowed closer to Leia's side. It was definitely too hot for hot drinks and too hot to snuggle, but they were doing it anyway. Leia had slipped her robe off, so Vada had stripped down to her underwear and a tank top, too. They both had feet up on the table though Vada had one curled under her.

"Oh," Leia said, nodding at it. "I make notes of the designers I like when I watch this," she said. She tilted her head. "Then, if they happen to be eliminated, I wait a little while and I call and commission a dress from them."

Vada blinked up at her.

"Wow," she said. "That must make them all flustered," she said. "Because it's _you_."

"Sometimes," Leia said, smiling. "One time the designer hung up on me. He thought I was playing a prank."

Vada giggled softly, but shook her head in disbelief.

"But your voice is so, like…distinct," she said, pausing for a moment to find the right word. "Like, everyone knows it."

"You think?"

"Yeah," Vada said earnestly, "'cause it's deep even though everyone sees you and thinks it will be high pitched and squeaky."

Leia snorted. She supposed Vada had a point there.

"Do you ever wonder if people try to get knocked off the show so you will wear their designs?" Vada asked curiously.

Leia arched a brow, humming under her breath.

"Not so much, though that's a good point," she said. "I usually wait a while before I do it, so the connection isn't quite as easy to see. It also wouldn't quite work because if they tried to make terrible designs to get voted off to perhaps get a commission from me…well, chances are I wouldn't like their design," she confided, with a quiet laugh.

"Oh, true," Vada snickered. "They can't make it ugly to hope to get you!"

"These shows are very biased towards humans," Leia said, gesturing at the Holo. "I like to give non-human designers a platform, and I like to promote small designers," she said. "So, I make notes of the things I really like. If my favorites win, I still commission gowns. But I'm more likely to do it if they didn't."

Vada sighed. She rested her cheek on Leia's arm.

"That's cool," she murmured, raising her mug to her lips.

Colours flashed along the screen as a montage of gowns danced by. Vada fell silent, her foot twitching back and forth. Every other twitch, it would tap against Leia's affectionately, and Leia found she liked that very much. She breathed out, much more relaxed than she had been, distracted from her insomnia by Vada's presence, and feeling very much at home.

"I like that you like dresses and helping people," Vada said into her mug.

Leia turned to look at her, amused.

"The two aren't mutually exclusive," she said.

"I know," Vada said. She shrugged. "Just seems like sometimes you can only be one kind of girl. Like you have to pick a style."

"Nah," Leia said softly. "You don't have to be one kind. Just a good kind."

"Mmhmm. Behave and stuff."

"Not always," Leia said, shrugging a little. "Just try to be good to people and treat the justly. But stick up for yourself. Sometimes when people say behave they mean be silent. You don't have to be silent."

Vada nodded thoughtfully. She cupped her mug, her face disappearing behind it.

"Leia?" she asked after a moment.

"Hmm?"

"What are your nightmares about?"

Leia compressed her lips. She moved her head slightly, watching the Holo without really seeing it. Vada felt her tense slightly, and then relax, and she winced to herself. She just wanted to know more. Not to poke around in Leia's private business, just to _know_ more.

Leia thought about it for a little while, trying to decide if she wanted to answer. She didn't have to go into detail, but she supposed she didn't have to shut Vada down, either. She wanted to make sure she and Vada always had an open, trusting relationship, and though she also wanted very much to make sure Vada enjoyed childhood, that didn't necessarily mean telling her to stop asking questions and mind her own business.

She decided to meet Vada sort of…half way.

"Do you remember when you asked me why I got so nervous when I was questioned in court? When we were fighting for custody?" she asked.

Vada nodded.

"I remember that whole day, _perfectly_ ," she said solemnly.

Leia smiled a little sadly.

"You said…because during the war, there was a time people asked you questions and if you didn't answer they hurt you," Vada recited.

Leia nodded.

"My nightmares are about that," she said simply. "A lot of scary things happen in war."

Vada shifted a little closer.

"Are they…the bad dreams, like… _more_ bad when Daddy's gone?" she asked.

"Sometimes," Leia admitted. "He got hurt pretty badly during the war. I dream about that, too. So then when I wake up, if he's not here," she paused. "It's harder to remember he ended up okay."

Vada nodded fervently. She took a few sips of hot chokolat, and then she sighed, and put her head back.

"I have bad dreams, too," she said sympathetically. "Only not like, a lot. And not like…really like I used to. More like… _confusing_ ," she muttered.

"What kind of dreams?" Leia asked gently, furrowing her brow

" _Well_ ," Vada sighed, a little reluctantly. "Like I will dream that…my Mom's back!" she said, though her voice was quiet, and full of false cheer. "And I'm excited! But then she makes me go back to Coronet City. And she says I _can't_ see you or Daddy anymore. And I tell her I don't want to see _her_ anymore. So she says I have to choose. And then I wake up."

Leia sat in silence for a moment, her lips pursed. She stared at the Holo, at the flashing colours, and then she blinked at it, and the volume lowered. She turned more fully towards Vada, her heart aching. It wasn't just that she felt sorrow for a little girl's troubles, but that she related, so heavily, to the specific struggle that came from finding happiness after something deeply traumatic and tragic.

"It's okay to be happy with us _and_ wish your mother hadn't died," she said softly.

She lifted one hand, and touched Vada's chin, lifting it to make sure their eyes connected.

"I know that seems hard to cope with. I _know_ how you feel."

Vada swallowed; Leia nodded once, firmly.

"I never would have met Han if everything else in my life hadn't gone wrong," she murmured. She paused, and then tilted her head a little. "Perhaps. Maybe. Not in the way that life brought us together the way we are now."

There was always the chance that Luke still would have hired Han, that they'd have made it to Alderaan, that Leia would have crossed paths with him. She felt, given their personalities, she would love him in any circumstances, but she doubted he would have stayed around. She doubted she would have had time – if it weren't for the specific way it happened.

"I miss _my_ mother, too," Leia said. "My father, my friends. _My_ planet. _And_ I love your father. And you. I'm very happy now."

She patted Vada's cheek, and tapped her nose affectionately.

"If it makes you feel better, I can't imagine having to choose between before or after either, sweetheart," she said. "I can't even begin to imagine."

Vada smiled at her shyly. There was more at stake, with what Leia was talking about. There was a whole planet of people at stake, if Leia ever really had to make that choice – but the sentiment was the same, the idea that sometimes it felt awful being so happy when there was so much… _sad_.

Vada didn't say anything else. She snuggled in, and settled for finishing her drink. Leia sipped hers idly, not quite as taken with it – it was just too _hot_. Vada drained every drop of hers, though, and didn't seem bothered when Leia set hers aside, cooling and half finished.

Vada set her mug on the kaf table next to Leia's, and sat on the edge of the sofa, hesitating.

"Can I stay here?" she asked. "Do I have to go back to bed?"

Leia shook her head. She didn't see why it mattered. There was no school tomorrow, no work. The cool air was broken, it was a weird night, it was just the two of them – why not waste away the hours with the idle holo, flickering lights and mindless entertainment? A silent, cozy girls' night was balm for the soul.

Vada beamed, and leaned against Leia again. Then she tilted her head, and shot a thoughtful, shy look at Leia sideways. This calculating little look was followed by a quick shift onto her side. She rested her head in Leia's lap contently, curling her body up on the sofa.

A little surprised, but not at all bothered, Leia rested her hand on Vada's shoulder and leaned back. She idle rubbed her arm, and then noticed that Vada's silk scarf had slipped again. She readjusted it once more, making sure it neatly smoothed itself over her meticulous braids, and then she patted the scarf itself gently, nodding to herself, satisfied that it was perfectly in place.

Vada yawned.

"Thanks, Mom," she murmured.

Leia paused, her palm lingering over Vada's head. She looked down at her, lips pursed, thinking for a moment that Vada's words might have been jumbled by the yawn, or even by sleepy confusion. She watched, unblinking, the profile of Vada's face, and Vada grinned, her eyes fixed happily on the flickering Holo.

"Oh, I _really_ like that gown," Vada commented, wide awake – and Leia let her hand fall gently, touching Vada's cheek ever so lightly.

She felt the smallest twitch as Vada smiled again, pressing her lips together, and Leia tilted her head back, blinking slowly at the ceiling, knowing the words – _Thanks, Mom_ – had been as intentional as words could be.

* * *

In the morning, Leia woke blearily as weight was suddenly lifted off of her. She turned her head, her brow furrowing, and reached up to rub her brow, peeking out of one eye sleepily. She blinked, and found Han straightening up beside the couch, hoisting Vada in his arms.

He gave Leia a funny look; his brow knit, and then made an odd motion with one of his hands, wiggling it gingerly underneath Vada. He obviously didn't want to wake her up – Leia was amazed he'd been able to disentangle them and lift her without doing so – and he didn't seem to want Leia to get up, either.

Leia blinked a few more times, nodding at him silently. The Holo flickered with something entirely different now, something Leia didn't recognize. Han tilted his head, studied her silently, then nodded down at Vada, and jerked his head towards the hall. Leia waved her hand vaguely, and Han crept away to deposit Vada into her own bed.

While he did so, she sat up, stretching and patting around her shoulders for her light robe. She pulled it on, frowning a little – it was early, she could tell by the colour of the sunlight streaming into the room. Yet Han wasn't supposed to be back until this evening.

Had something happened?

She turned her head, rubbing at her neck, when he came back into the room. His eyes were bloodshot and he had sunrise shadow dusting his jaw. She arched her brows a little, and at the same time, they both spoke softly –

"What're you doin' out here? Why's it so hot in here?"

"Why are you home so early?"

Their words stumbled over each other, collided, and hissed into silence. Leia raised one eyebrow.

Han waited a beat.

Then, they both started again –

"You look – "

"Did something –"

They both trailed off. Leia arched both of her eyebrows this time. Han rolled his eyes. He sat down gingerly on the edge of the sofa, and reached over to rest a hand on her knee. He gave one light squeeze, and Leia tilted her head, yawning, and taking that to mean he wanted her to speak first.

"Cool air fizzled out about an hour after you left," Leia murmured. "I couldn't sleep. Neither could Vada. I suppose we fell asleep out here," Leia trailed off slightly, gesturing around.

She glanced at her wrist, remembered she never whore a chrono at home, then vaguely looked around to try and find the time. She squinted, and crossed her arms, rubbing her hands up and down them. She cocked her head at Han.

"You were supposed to be back tonight," she reminded him, and then looked at him more closely. " _Kest_ , Han," she mumbled, half-amused. "You look _rough_."

He grunted, a rather grim look on his face, and reached up to run a hand over the scruff.

"Yeah," he grumbled. "Uh, turns out I'm old," he said, half under his breath.

Leia bit the inside of her cheek, keeping her expression neutral.

"And, uh, turns out…Luke's your age, and the rest of 'em," Han shook his head. His brow wrinkled a little. "And I…missed you guys," he added, though the confession wasn't so much sheepish, as relieved.

A warm little shiver went down Leia's spine, and she smiled gently. She let the soft look linger for a moment, before her lips curved into a teasing smirk.

"The young bucks ran you ragged?" she asked lightly, puckering her lips. She shifted her bare foot over and nudged his dirty boot, clicking her tongue. "Are you hung-over, or still a tad bit intoxicated?" she asked.

Han grimaced.

"Jury's still out," he said.

"You didn't fly, did you?"

Han gave her a look – as if he was doing any drunk flying at this point in his life, especially on Coruscant. He didn't have a bloody death wish.

"Who dropped you home? It sounds like the others weren't in any condition – "

"I took a taxi."

Leia looked gleeful.

" _Really_?"

They always avoided public transport. Their profiles made it nearly impossible to have a peaceful ride. And the Media –

"Were you asked for your autograph?" Leia asked.

Han grunted something that sounded like _yes_.

"You gave it?"

Han winced.

Leia laughed quietly, in the back of her throat.

"I'll warn Mon and the others to be on the lookout for a puff piece about a drunk Han Solo handing out autographs while Princess Leia babysits his child," she quipped.

Han groaned. He put a hand over his face and leaned back, peeking at her thought his fingers. It was genuine amusement on her face, though, and he sighed, dragging himself up after a moment.

Leia held her hand out, wriggling her fingers.

"Kaf," she suggested. "I'll make it."

She stood, letting the robe hang open, and Han eyed her appreciatively. She pointed at the two mugs of hot chokolat, one mostly full, the other devoured.

"Bring those, will you?"

Han nodded. She heard him gather them, and begin to follow her.

"Leia," he began, sounding hesitant. His voice had a telltale woeful sound to it when he was about to prostrate himself, and Leia shook her head, getting ahead of it.

"Oh no, _no_ apologies Han," she said breezily, waving her hand over the kitchen light sensor and striding over to the kaf machine. "You had every right to let loose at that bachelor party. I wanted you to," she said firmly.

She began sorting kaf beans, situating the hot water, collecting clean mugs. She heard hand dump the dirty ones in the sink, and turn a slow stream of water on.

"Think of it this way," she murmured. "If you were the new mother of an infant, you'd be encouraged to get out, take some time for your self, relax – you did that. There's nothing more to read into it."

Han peered at the film of chokolat in the mugs.

"But I just missed you," he grumbled, sounding rather guilty.

"Well, I think the comparison would still apply," Leia said frankly. She shrugged. "From what I've read."

"I'm a nursing mother in this metaphor?" Han snorted.

"Tits and all."

While the kaf began to percolate, Leia turned, leaning back against the counter. Han shot a look over his shoulder at her, and she grinned breezily. She reached up to cover one more yawn, rubbing one of her heels against her ankle.

"What're you reading about new mothers?" Han asked idly, turning back to the sink.

He ran water into a mug. Unseen, Leia shrugged. She picked up one of the ties of her robe, and started swinging it lazily in circles. Han turned, one arm draped in the sink, holding a mug, and looked at her quizzically.

"What's all this?" he asked again. "Slumber party?"

He paused for a split second, and then shook his head.

"It wasn't too hot to sleep. You _love_ it hot when you sleep," he pointed out – ever since Hoth, Leia wanted to sweat buckets while she slept.

He tapped a foot.

"So, what's up?"

Leia switched the direction of her swinging.

"I was having one of my sleepless nights," she said frankly. "I think I woke Vada up. She said I didn't, but," Leia trailed off. "I was watching a _SuperFashioNova_ marathon."

Han made a face. She smirked.

"It was Vada's idea to have the hot chokolat," Leia said. "We both fell asleep."

"Can't believe she didn't wake up when I moved her," Han said.

Leia shrugged.

"We were up late."

Han turned off the water, flicked it off his hand, and turned fully to face her.

"I'm – "

"I have sleepless nights when you're here, too," Leia reminded him, before he could apologize.

They were worse when he was gone, but she was working on that, and other things, with her therapist. And something so good had come of it – the bonding with Vada was irreplaceable, and she was trying to find a way to bring it up without cheapening how…how much it meant to her.

Leia turned to check on the kaf, and then looked back at Han.

"You told Vada not to sneak up on me," she said, more a statement than a question.

Han twitched his nose, self-conscious.

"Well, yeah," he said. "Didn't think that was out of line. I didn't want her startlin' you," he said, "and I didn't want her to misunderstand if you zoned out or somethin'."

"She took it to heart," Leia said. "She stood in the hall and _thought_ at me really loudly."

When the kaf made a soft bell-like noise, Leia turned, and removed the steaming decanter.

"It was cute," she murmured.

Han crossed the kitchen, putting his hands on her shoulders. He bent to kiss the back of her head, standing close while she portioned the fresh kaf into mugs. She watched the steam curl and set the decanter aside; when Han reached past her to take his mug, his arm brushing hers, the words came out:

"She called me Mom."

Han stopped. He touched her elbow with one hand, his other hand falling to the counter, just short of grabbing the mug.

"She what?" he asked, unsure if he'd heard correctly.

"She – "

"She did?" Han interrupted, deciding he _had_ heard it right.

Leia nodded.

"'Thanks, Mom,'" she quoted softly. "I fixed her hair. Then she said it," Leia paused. She took a deep breath. "I thought she might be falling asleep and disoriented but," she shook her head. "She meant _me_."

Han stared at Leia's cheek for a moment, and then he shifted forward, and rested his temple on the crown of her head, thinking. His head pounded, and he swallowed hard. That made him – happy, he was happy. Was Leia happy? Was Vada?

"Are you – " he started.

"I'm so happy, Han," Leia whispered. "I don't think I realized I wanted to hear it until she said it."

She licked her lips.

"Is feels so, so," she sighed. " _Good_."

Han kissed her temple.

"I know," he said honestly.

Leia nodded – he did, didn't he? Vada had grown up calling him _Dad_ , or _Daddy_. She hadn't even called him that when she'd first come to live with them. It had taken time, connection, safety, and _trust_.

She sucked in her breath, cleared her throat, and picked up the two hot mugs of kaf. She turned, curling one close to herself, and pushing one into Han's hand. She looked up at him.

"You didn't forget, did you?" she asked.

Han furrowed his brow, standing toe to toe with her.

"Forget what?"

"What I said, before we got married," Leia prompted. "I said I'd want a baby. _Another_ baby, at least one."

Han looked a little confused.

"Another...you don't have a baby," he said – and his tone the verbal version of physically scratching his head.

Leia pursed her lips.

"I think – I want – to include Vada in the count," she said firmly. "Now, when it happens," she took in a quiet, slow breath. "I don't want to…draw lines. Make her the _other_ or the _half_. If she ever feels like we're erasing Visenya she can correct us but," Leia lifted her shoulders. "My parents always talked about me like my mother had physically carried me. I didn't get a reminder every day that I'd been adopted. I don't want her to feel like…her connection to me could ever be cut off. That's it's just on paper."

"She doesn't feel that way," Han said certainly.

"I know," Leia agreed, "but I want us to _live_ that way."

Han took a sip of kaf, closing his eyes in relief. What a remedy for an aching head. He sighed, satisfied, and opened his eyes again, cocking his head to look at her.

"So," he drawled. "When d'you want to get started?"

Leia arched a brow.

"On the new baby."

"Ha," Leia laughed softly, dryly. "I'm not there yet," she admitted. "I'm not opposed to warming up, though," she flirted.

Han gave her a dramatic look.

"Can I take a nap first?" he asked.

Leia laughed again.

"You _are_ getting old," she teased.

Han gestured at his chest with his free hand.

"Tits and all," he drawled.

Leia put a hand on his chest, holding him at arm's length, and then drawing him close. She pressed her mug against her chest, holding it steady between them, and grinned, closing her eyes, and resting her head against his shoulder. She knew Han still sometimes struggled with guilt, with a feeling that he'd forced an impossible choice on Leia, a life she'd never asked for or anticipated – but this past year, Leia had never once felt resentment; she'd instead found life without Vada in their home unimaginable.

_Thanks, Mom._

The words – so simple, so earnest, and so unprompted – whispered in her ears, through her veins, and she felt content, and empowered, and peaceful. It didn't seem possible that two single-syllable, painfully common words, strung together in a half-sentence, could be as soothing and sweet as hot chokolat itself.

**Author's Note:**

> -alexandra
> 
> sorry it's been so long!


End file.
